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Ian Beale
**Ponderous, meandering epic with a few bright spots.** This film is about a soldiers quest to find a renegade and insane Colonel (a bald Brando in an extended cameo) who has hidden himself away in the depths of the jungle and is causing all manner of commotion. Quite what it was - I can't remember, but it _was_ important enough to go down stream in search of him. Sheen's character decides to head down river with his fellow soldiers and seek out the bald lunatic before its too late. Robert Duvall is hilarious as a war immune soldier - especially when a shell explodes near him and he merely gives it a disinterested glance. Amusing! On the whole, though, this is a ponderous trip - the film seems to meander aimlessly with little to keep this viewer interested. - Ian Beale
Rocketeer Raccoon
I think a lot of people who think this film is a classic are deranged, the only memorable scene in the film is when they drop exploding napalm and the guy in the hat says "I love the smell of napalm in the morning", the rest of the film is a completely boring bombshell and it's like the film was high on drugs as there's this one part where people are butchering a cow in the most grotesque way possible... poor cow, now I'm offended by this film. This film is just weird, the characters are not memorable at all not even Marlon Brando's character, the story is non-existent and the ending just sucks. Overall this film is absolutely terrible and I don't care what others think, I did not enjoy this film at all.

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